As much as I dislike the experience, I found myself again at the children’s hospital, however, this time it was because our son was getting circumcised.
The practice of circumcision is both a culturally accepted norm and also a ‘cleanliness’ suggested surgical intervention for boys in Albania. My wife and I were both comfortable with the whole idea so we went ahead and did it.
Our son is only two and a half years old and we decided that this would be the best time for him as the older he gets the more conscious he will be about this experience which, judging form mine (at seven), was not something I felt good about.
Culturally speaking
Culturally, Albanians have been circumcising their sons for decades. The Muslim religious background of many in the country has been a dominant reason for this practice. Though, historically this is a Jewish tradition in our country it has prevailed as a tradition through the Muslim parts of the population, where the Orthodox and Catholic traditions have not been as open.
However, during communism the practice was upheld mostly for health reasons related to general cleanliness and avoidance of potential infections. Today, it’s much the same reasons that lead many parents to have their sons circumcised.
Muslim tradition in Albania
For Muslim traditional families the circumcision of boys continues to be a major event in the life of the family. Often the occasion is accompanied with various festivities in the form of a lunch or dinner with the extended family and friends all gathering to celebrate. The “lucky boy” also gets some presents (generally cash) as he tries to endure the pain! However, this tradition is fading rapidly as communities are much more fluid now and many families live in locations where most people are not family related. But culturally it is an occasion for family ties to strengthen and people to celebrate.
In our case, my wife and I decided to go the slightly more modern way, where it was only a family matter with just grandparents coming to attend as both of us have to work. Though we did entertain some guests who came to know about it and wanted to pay their traditional ‘respect’.
I am albanian and to my knowledge, in Albania this is NOT a cultural tradition. First time I’ve heard of something so absurd. No males of my family – young and old generations – did such a thing!
Dear Brunilda, all the males in my family have done this, what do you think that means 🙂
First of all, this rite is not part of the Albanian culture as wrongly you have been trying to say in your post! If is part of your family does not mean that is part of the Albanians! Second, I do not know if you realize what kind of damage and trauma you have caused to your son!! Your attitude is irresponsible and not appropriate for a parent! If you had been well informed about genital mutilations about you would know that there are different studies that have found that this barbaric ritual is a crime! Ignorance is never rewarded and your son certainly will not benefit from your ignorance!
B) From Susan Blank, M.D. is the Chair of the American Academy of Pediatrics Task Force on Circumcision ne te cilin thuhet: “Infant neurological development, clinical experience, trauma theory, and research on circumcised infants all support the conclusion that circumcision is traumatic. Circumcision results in extreme pain and significant increases in heart rate and level of blood stress hormone. Some infants do not cry because they go into shock from the overwhelming experience. Anesthetics, if they are used, do not eliminate the pain or the trauma. Long-term infant behavioral changes and disruptions in mother-child bonding due to circumcision have been observed. An MRI showed permanent changes to a circumcised infant’s brain. Circumcision trauma has long-term effects. In a medical journal survey of 546 circumcised men who reported circumcision harm, the following effects and feelings were noted. anger, rage, sense of loss, shame, sense of having been victimized and mutilated low self-esteem, fear, distrust, and grief relationship difficulties, sexual anxieties, and depression reduced emotional expression, lack of empathy, and avoidance of intimacy..” >>>http://www.circumcision.org/psych.htm
Dear Brunilda,
thank you so much for posting this study. However, may I point out a couple of things:
1. I would find it hard to judge any parents capabilities by saying: “Your attitude is irresponsible and not appropriate for a parent!” as that is just a personal and truly unfounded opinion.
2. Most importantly, I need to point out that the study is referring to “infant” circumcision/intervention. My son is not an infant, he is a toddler. This was a proper surgical intervention. By the same argument, any surgical intervention in “infants” or “toddlers” could then be considered as traumatic and thus causing all parents to be considered as irresponsible!!!
3. With regard to the “traumatic experience” I can assure you that it was no more than getting stuck with needle (syringe) for him when he is sick. Most importantly he was put to sleep and our whole family was there with myself and my wife standing by his side during the whole time. In less the 1 hour after the intervention he was back to his usual toddler self. I know my son.
4. We made sure to prepare him psychologically several weeks in advance by telling him what was going to happen.
5. I understand that this can cause an emotional response, but I assure you that it is just that.
Here are some quick references from the study that you refer to:
“Seen from the outside, cultural bias re?ecting the normality of nontherapeutic male circumcision in the United States seems obvious, and the report’s conclusions are different from those reached by physicians in other parts of the Western world, including Europe, Canada, and Australia.” – USA is not the whole world
“Infant neurological development, clinical experience, trauma theory, and research on circumcised infants all support the conclusion that circumcision is traumatic.” – Emphasis is on “infant” my son is not such, that is why we did not do it then.
Moreover, my son was put to “sleep” while the procedure was done on him. It was a proper surgical procedure. That’s it.
Also here is another quote from one of the studies that you referred to which say that the AAP has changed its stance on circumcision from a neutral one to a more possitive attitude toward circumcision:
“Circumcision rates are steadily decreasing in most Western countries around the world, including the United States.1 Still, a majority of newborn male infants undergo the procedure in the United States. In its newly released Technical Report and Policy Statement on male circumcision,2,3 the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) has changed from a neutral to a more positive attitude toward circumcision, claiming that possible health bene?ts now outweigh the risks and possible negative long-term consequences. The AAP does not recommend routine circumcision of all infant boys as a public health measure but asserts that the bene?ts of the procedure are suf?cient to warrant third-party payment. In Europe, Canada, and Australia, where infant male circumcision is considerably less common than in the United States, the AAP report is unlikely to in?uence circumcision practices because the conclusions of the report and policy statement seem to be strongly culturally biased.
Source link: http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/early/2013/03/12/peds.2012-2896.full.pdf+html
Always interesting reading Elvis Thanks!
Not true however!!!!
I don’t know that it is a Albanian cultural tradition.The clear majority of men i know are not circumcised(I am Albanian)
Dear Friedirich, thank you for your input. I have already posted a more extended reply above, but I would like to say to you that for me the majority of men I know are circumcised (I am Albanian). Or does that make me less of an Albanian for choosing to get circumcised? Again, I have to clarify that I did not do such a thing for religious purposes but out of respect for the traditions of my parents and family.
Well, first off, I would like to say thank you to each one of you for your comments as they are always much appreciated and I am always learning thus always open to your input.
With regard to the topic, I am aware of the fact that this is not very common practice now and I also understand that it is not as widely accepted, but that does not make it less of a tradition.
Let me illustrate. In the north of Albania we have traditions and customs (many of which are part of the Kanun of Dukagjini) which are slowly and “thankfully” fading away, but they are none the less referred to as traditions, norms, customs or what have you. In the same way, we have such things in the center and south of Albania, which are often practiced in specific regions.
Circumcision has remained with us in its own way and is practiced (though less and less) in various areas of the country, though mainly the lower and central plains as these were parts where the Ottoman Turks had their greatest influence.
I would venture to even state that our Kosovar brethren still practice this in Kosovo.
Yes, it is a predominantly Muslim related practice for us, but it is a tradition, since it is not done for religious purposes but rather customary and cultural practice.
So my question would be this: Is the word “tradition” too strong to use it a definition for “circumcision” ?
Please provide your much appreciated input 🙂
Elvis,
Tradition: as per dictionary.com: the handing down of statements, beliefs, legends, customs, information, etc., from generation to generation, especially by word of mouth or by practice: a story that has come down to us by popular tradition.
2.something that is handed down: the traditions of the Eskimos.
3.a long-established or inherited way of thinking or acting: The rebellious students wanted to break with tradition.
4.a continuing pattern of culture beliefs or practices. 5. a customary or characteristic method or manner:
I think tradition would be a correct term – perhaps the largess it is applied to might be pared down, but some Albanians clearly see this as part of their custom and family/regional tradition.
Til’ next time!
Thank you 🙂
Circumcision is a harm against children’s right. Permanent changes are not allowed to be done when the patient isn’t aware of the changes been done to their bodies. It’s his body, not yours!